‘I was trying to be what you wanted’

I pointed at my chest,

‘I gave you miles of my road and you put up walls’

I press my hand against my heart, turning my fingers into a claw and making a twisting motion.

‘I gave you hours of my time, my patience and you gave me fucking silences’

I beat my heart, teeth clenched pinching my inner cheek and drawing blood.

‘I pushed aside grief, I listened to you suppress your shit over and over’

Feeling the cut in my cheek, I swallow the blood and I feel my trust in you break.

‘You break the trust of the one you love, you can’t meet my gaze and you shut your eyes’

I smile, pushing my anger to one side, knowing that the damage done, feels like a twisted rusted piece of barbed wire turning in my lungs which then begin to flood with copper tinged air.

‘If I feel this way, imagine how she feels’

I tried, was the answer.

…

Love you R, this is not about her.

…

🖤