When all hope fails, what do we rely on?- I used to think I would hope for hopes sake, but now, as I trudge further from home, further from trust, from love, from hope, I prove that wrong. There’s no hope left now, just pure, raging need, desperation, primal survival instincts, rugged life, I have to go on because it’s right, purely that.
It’s as I trudge on that I think of a poem I read, in the f...
Where there’s smoke, where there’s fire, there’s flames,
And there you hear her screaming dire,
Old Mames,
Who used to sing you on her lire,
Old Mames,
Who used to fulfil male desire,
Old Mames,
Who used to save you from your sire,
Old Mames,
Who your wishes by her squire,
Old Mames,
Who sang at the back of the choir,
Old Mames,
Who is now burning for the Squire,
Old Mames,
Never took her to befor...
Gasping for water,
Grasping the edge,
Starving, screaming,
Shouting, slowing,
Falling silent now,
Then starting again,
Blinking back tears,
Marching, moving,
Running, rallying,
Falling, flying,
Calling and crying,
Saving, surviving,
All of it again
Every day, yesterday,
To-day, to-morrow,
Last week, next week,
Every day different,
Every day the same.
Always struggling,
Always scraping by,
Never qu...
People are working at fever pitch, rushing around to get things done. Everything’s stuffy and clammy, damp, and everyone’s mood is down. The streets are full of running business men and women, restraunts, cafes and takeaways empty, pubs overflowing.
And then comes the calm.
Everyone’s rushed indoors, even the pub doors are shut and barred, all the homeless from the streets are cradled in a shelt...
Heart racing, thoughts falling,
Pretending to be sleeping,
I try not to lose trust,
Think he’s with another bust,
His love I am losing,
Or not, but I am trusting
He won’t ever choose lust,
On our love, has fallen dust,
Or has it? That’s the thing,
I don’t know if it’s a fling
Or if he’s true and just.
Under the door comes a gust,
Up the stairs, a thudding,
The door opens, loudly creaking,
In he co...
I see him accross the room at the same time he notices me, and it is clear we both recognise each other immediately, and that neither of us could care less.
We may be on the opposite sides of a humongous divide, but we are in the same room, and the only thing dividing us currently is a load of drunken dancers, and we are both quickly swaying with them, making our away toward each other.
In order...
The sky is red, and the day ending,
Fading beautifully to an end,
As am I, fading slowly away.
Both of us ending, now, together,
The sun to be reborn as the same,
Me bar to grow the grass and the weeds,
Both entering a night, together,
But something else ended first, the lie,
The lie called love, our lie, me and him,
Both lying, both sustained by that lie,
Both terrified for the end of it,
The en...
That time, that was real magic,
His hands in mine, mine in his,
Dancing round the ballroom quick,
So fast we should slip and fall,
But despite that, we can’t slip,
We are too wrapped up in dreams,
That we couldn’t ever trip,
Dreams of love and betrothal
That we knew could not be,
The chances way too small,
Our love would never live free,
But those dreams, our shared dreams,
Were magic, made us who...
Well that’s fucked up.
I shouldn’t know that.
Not now. Not ever.
I can’t get it out of my head.
I have to.
I’m dangling from a cliff, about to swing into the cave, a perilous manoeuvre, particularly on a day like today, just one long gale, and particularly without a harness or anyone around, and I’m stuck thinking about that.
I don’t judge the distance as I swing, I’ve done it a thousand ti...
If only I could be beautiful,
And have princes, kings,
Begging to be by my side.
If only I could be rich,
And dressed in real gold,
Money for wallpaper,
And have all the people
Knowing my long name.
If only I could be wise,
Intelligent too, high IQ,
Have universities fighting,
Real scraps, knives and all,
Just to give me a scholarship.
But here I am, the beggar girl,
Unable to pay my rent, agai...
