And we're crawling to the gates of heaven
Not completely sure if this is the place we want to be
But like good dogs we follow
So tempted by
The man in the sky
And I'll sit on the steps
My death marks me like a tattoo
You can see it on my wrists
And on my throat
Because I choked
On my words and on the world
And I was never built for it anyway
I died before I was born
Defined before even a th...
A family.
Left lone, cold, blood dripping
Looking down the barrel of a gun
Easy kills. Collateral damage.
Young- they don't know of death
Except they do.
Seen it with their own eyes
Over. And over.
Never ending
Repeating cycle of violence
And pain. All
For what?
A state? A name?
Now check the first letters...
Crawling. On my spine.
Nails on the chalkboard of my bones.
Running up and down
To my legs
Pins, needles, the lot
Vertebraes clicking
In and out of place
Can we just quicken up the pace
Of my dying?
I'm ready to go.
So ready in fact I think
The pain and the scratching
Are pure imagination
Simply rogue thoughts
Left to fester for too long
The electrical impulses
In my brain, taking a detour
...
The air isn't enough anymore
I guess it never was
Oxygen holds no calories
Nor does my tounge
Which I bite back so hard I choke
My bones stick out
Still strong, still there
Skin wrapped over
Tight and bare
Small waist, thin legs
But that's never what this was about was it?
No, this was because it hurt
Because it was fun
And _easy_
And no one batted an eye
And the air tastes so much nicer
Whe...
All of my poems
Delve into the same feeling
_All of my poems_, every single one
Is an attempt to describe the same _feeling_
Context doesn't matter
It's always the same
It's always there
And it's always fleeting
And indescribable
And it’s always between the lines
Hiding. Never fully portrayed.
So I'll write another poem
To add on to the pile
Of attempts to describe it
It's the feeling o...
There’s something inside me
I can feel it travelling down
My oesophagus, my throat.
The idea of something
From outside my body
Choking me from the inside
Just. I want to cough it up
Cough it out. Into the toilet
At 12:00 am. Night.
I can feel it settle. Stomach bug.
Hopefully hydrochloric acid burns it away
The grease, the shame
Or have it leave the way it came
There's something in my body
It's ...
There's a girl in the woods
She's sitting alone
She made the choice
to leave her home,
bear or man,
her answer clear,
the same as any woman near,
she closes her eyes,
breaths in the air and sighs,
safety is all she can feel, because she'd rather be a bears next meal,
than be subject to whatever the hell he feels,
he wants to do,
because there's a difference between a man and a bear,
...
I'm just trying to be what you wanted.
Quiet. Smart.
No now I'm too quiet
Gotta contribute you know?
Too smart- don't need help
Don't warrant attention
Just fuck off
Just be
Yourself!
Identity and expression is so important
Woah ok not like that
No no no
Wear this uniform
Take out those earrings
Those socks are too colourful
Your hair! It's too colourful
Dye it back
Not a sound
Do this ...
It's been three hours, where did you go?
_Idk, I was here the whole time_
You know that should only take 10 mins
_Yeah I know_
You know it was due yesterday
_Yeah I know_
It's been another two hours
_Oh... ok_
You know that's a symptom
_I know_
Your room's a mess
_I know_
That's a symptom
_Plenty of people have messy rooms_
Not the way you do
_I'm trying to focus_
Is it hard to focus?
_Let me gue...
You're fire
Wild and uncontrollable
Healing and hurting
I love your warmth
So much I'll ignore the burns
You are water
Life and vigour
Salty but quenching
A system in itself
Benevolent and merciless
You're air
That's stolen from my lungs
That never expanded fully
Untill I met you
You are a breath after drowning
A gulp of life I seemed to be missing out on
You're the earth
Moving mountains li...
