We were hanging out in your dorm room

At 1:30 am on a random Tuesday night

Listening to music with your roommate and his friend

We were debating the appropriateness

Of wearing a corgi t-shirt to a fancy club

You were teaching me guitar

Because I always wanted to learn

And you didn’t make me feel stupid

For wanting to

You had sad eyes

You’d told us on that pre-orientation backpacking trip

When we were sharing secrets around the campfire

That you had trouble waking up every morning

I was shocked at the depth of your despair and feeling

But comforted too

Because it awakened a melancholy in me

That was always there but

I hadn’t had the courage to access

Until you

I started to notice that your swooping brown hair

And your smile made you look like one of the Beatles

You were interesting

And a little crazy

And you made space for me

And I wanted to know more of you

So I started laughing a little extra at your jokes

Maintaining eye contact

Reading into every word and action of yours

And all the sudden the part of me that hates putting myself out there

Terrified of rejection and shaped by shame

Was completely overruled by the part of me desperate to dive into the depths of you

So it was late and I was getting tired

But instead of leaving

And without thinking

I gave in

Made the bold move

And I crawled into your top bunk

My audacity paid off

I let your magnetic void pull me

And that crush became midnight colored love

We explored your depths and mine

Deep and unrefined

In the grey of day

In the night of youth and

Right on time

We were together for two years

It didn’t last

But I can’t help but think of you

After all the time that’s past

Boy, did we glow in the dark

And perhaps because of you

I still do