listen

im sorry

i know what i did and i know it was wrong

and im scarred from the way your words cut me

like knives,

but ultimately,

i know it was my fault

listen,

i hate myself for the way i made you

hate me, i love you and you hated me

you say you didn’t but i saw the pain in your eyes

and the lies surrounding your words

as you said you would always love me

i’m sorry, i’m so sorry

you don’t h...

boom

windows clattering, curtains blown open wide

gray is rolling in like the ocean tides on the beach

something dark is in the air,

shut your doors,

tell your children to go inside.

pitter patter pitter patter

reindeer hooves are clacking on the roof

but it’s not christmas and santa isn’t here

drops of water fall from the ceiling,

you’d better slide a bucket under those leaks

your roof needs a...

to you,

i’m sorry

i didn’t love you,

well i did,

but not in the way you wanted

to you,

i’m sorry

for the way i treated you for the way i didn’t think

i should’ve thought

i love you,

but not in the way you wanted,

i know

to you,

i’m sorry i’m so sorry

i miss you luke i miss you so much

please if you come back ill be better

i’ll love you,

but still,

not in the way you want me to

i’m sorry...

you see,

my mother doesn’t like you,

but she doesn’t really like anyone

so that’s more of a compliment than if she did

it doesn’t matter if she likes you or not, anyway

cause _i_ like you

and that’s what’s important, right?

i’m _your girl_

__

“why dont you let me worry about _my girl_, ok?”

smiling, giggling, kicking my feet

because you feel safe

i’m not scared, i’m not worried, not when i’m ta...

my roots are buried deep in the grounds

of the amazon rainforest,

yanked up and skinned

prepared for the american society

i was born in chicago

but i dont remember a thing,

only knowing that it snowed on my birthday

my roots are buried deep in maryland,

where i’ve lived for most of my life

but i feel no loyalty,

no strong desire for crabs

(maybe some old bay, though)

my roots are buried nowhere...

“what the hell is going on?”

a ray of blank stares, all around the room

fidgety and guilty and someone’s crying

but i’ve never seen them before

“what’s going on?”

the woman with scary eyes and a face i don’t know walks up to me

“do you remember my name?”

“get away from me”

i’m scared

“im your mommy. do you remember me?”

“why am i here? let me go! let me go let me go let me go!”

shaking and sobbing...

fact or fancy?

is this real or just a delusion my poor,

sick mind

has conjured up

fact or fancy?

is this beautiful dream simply a nightmare

in disguise, a porceline mask thrown over

its face

fact or fancy?

i am a horrible beast dressed in shiny silk,

while my eyes gleam with a wicked desire to rip you to pieces, but i hide it with a bit of mascara

you think you know me, you think we’re fr...

anger swirls like a sandstorm across

a wide open desert

the chloroform green stings my vision

it’s fine

she’s allowed to like him

it’s stupid, the way i’m feeling

i told him i didn’t like him like that

i have someone already

i asked you what you’re doing

all day, you said “texting el”

“playing truth or dare with el”

“el el el el el”

shut up

i hate her i hate her i hate her

i like you but

i hate ...

im ready for this all to be over

ready for the pain to end,

the heartbreak and grief and hatred

to run from my brain

but i will give it one last go

if not for me, for you

because i love you

your presence is sunlight

and it’s already made the pain

the heartbreak

the grief and the hatred

sprint away...

as we build from the

ground up, our village turns to cities

before our eyes...